ADogsDiary

5:30 a.m. - Started the day as a hero! When the
sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway
roused me from my deep slumber - the impact
indicating the paper was much heavier than
normal - I realized that no one in the house was
yet awake! I roused my master by licking him
in the face.

He appeared very angry with himself for
having overslept, shouting and waving his
arms. His ill temper even seemed directed at
me a bit, which is silly since it is I who saved
him from being fired. Funny thing though: he
didn't go into work, but spent the morning
leafing through the large newspaper and
drinking coffee. He seems to do this once a
week, and I don't know why.

7:30 a.m. - Invaders! The people who live next
door came out into their yard, obviously
getting ready to lay siege to our house.
Snarling and barking, I let them know in no
uncertain terms that I was prepared to tear
them limb from limb if they came any closer,
and was able to repel the invasion.

This is an almost daily occurrence; you'd think
they'd learn. My master added his voice to the
fray as well, yelling angrily. I am sure the
people couldn't hear him, but it was nice of him
to lend his support.

10:00 a.m. - I was forced to move, as the patch
of sun in which I was lying had, for some
reason, slid over a few feet. It's not easy being
a dog.

1:00 p.m. - I have the most thoughtful master in
the world! While it's true he left me alone in the
house for several hours, he did set out a treat
for me on the kitchen counter. It was even
gift-wrapped, a courtesy I wish he'd skipped,
since it led to me having a lot of plastic
in my teeth.

The roast was delicious, though frozen in the
center. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but
crunching through two inches of rock-hard
beef is hardly my idea of a delicacy.

2:00 p.m. - Most unpleasant experience when
my master returned home and was furious that
I had not eaten the plastic wrap which had
been covering my present. He kept pointing at
the small pieces of Styrofoam and other debris
and raving in a most irrational fashion.

I'm sorry, but he should know that I can't eat
that stuff, it makes my stomach upset. When
he began rolling up a newspaper I realized he'd
lost all reason and bolted for the front door,
which was fortunately open just a crack.

4:00 p.m. - Spent the afternoon with the girls.
A most productive day; I was able to mark
territory for two blocks. "Drip 'till you drop" is
our motto. We had a small snack at an outdoor
cafe we like, with meat scraps and bread
served out of circular containers with easily
displaced lids.

Ran into that rogue Sebastian, who lifted his
leg with irritating nonchalance. Does he think I
don't know about his obsession with Muffy,
that snotty schnauzer from down the road?
Last month there wasn't a male in the
neighborhood who couldn't be found outside
her fence, and Sebastian was at the head of
the pack. I let him know I want nothing
more to do with him.

5:00 p.m. - What a treat! On the way home a
flock of ravens drew my attention to a squirrel
that had been flattened by an automobile. After
several days in the sun, the aroma was so
delicious it made my nose quiver. I rolled in
the wondrous fragrance for several minutes,
and when I stood up I positively radiated "eau
de roadkill." Let Sebastian drool over Muffy -
he doesn't know what he's missing.

6:00 p.m. - Of all the times to get a bath! My
master, still in a foul mood, made me stand
outside in the chill air while he shampooed
and rinsed me several times. Every time I
shook the water from my fur he, too, became
drenched, and in the end he was shivering.
Why in the world does he do stuff like this?

9:00 p.m. - Time to sleep, though for some
reason I am only allowed on the bed when no
one's home. Ah, the life of a dog.

Links

Click on Dog to go Back to
"All Things Dog" Page
From there you can
access other dog pages.

Links to Pages in This Section

A D O G ' S D I A R Y

Home Page